Tuesday 21 August 2018
I’m quite like you, but completely different.
I get the same feelings like you, experience the same things. I get just a little more of everything. When I’m happy, I’m happy. When I’m angry I’m really cursed. When I’m sad, I’m baseless despair. If I’m hurt by someone, it feels like the whole world is under. But if I get a hug, everything will be fine again, no matter how crazy it was.
At times I take everything personally. I can feel that everything that’s happening around me is geared towards just me. I need a valve in my brain, which means that everything comes out in a completely different way, and most often through the mouth. Perhaps you think I’m exaggerating. But I do not have the valve you have, things get very big for me. I have not been given the opportunity to stop to sort thoughts.
I’m not bad to listen. But I can have big problems concentrating. There may be dripping from the faucet, a passing car, someone sitting on a bench; All everyday things that you sort away with your valve will be left in my head.
I can see your lips move. But if I am tired, I can not get what you say, even if I really try. It’s not to overlook, it’s just because my head is ugly. And in my head, it’s never quiet.
You may be tired of asking again about things you’ve just told me. It’s got nothing to do with being stupid, slow or tight. It’s just that what you said to me has drowned in all the other thoughts I have in my mind. And then I have to ask you again. Perhaps I’ll ask again, just so I’ll remember it.
I need breaks
It does not work very well for me to spend a whole night on the couch watching movies. After a while, the tingling begins in the body. I can not concentrate on what’s on the screen. My body is announcing that I need variation.
No matter how good the movie is, my patience ends. But if my brain gets a break of ten minutes, then maybe we can continue to see. My head does not have the same capacity to process impressions yours has.
Perhaps you are mad at seeing that I constantly fool with phones, bedding, clothes or whatever I have between my fingers? It’s just my way of spending some energy, so I’ll be able to focus on you.
For you, you may feel like I do not understand you or your feelings. But I understand much more than I can say. When there are strong emotions in turn, my mind is controlled by the feelings and I can not get word out of my lips. I am keen to control the body so that it will not do unexpected actions against myself or others.
Are you informed that I throw things everywhere? Kaos is my way of keeping the order. When there is chaos in my mind, I feel safe. Then I have control.
You will surely be surprised by my changing mood. Do not get it. My mood is entirely controlled by the feelings that come to grips. And this can change quickly. My brain is still in rebellion. It’s not always I’m going to hang out with.
Do I wipe things everywhere? Kaos is my way of keeping order. As there is chaos in my mind evenly, then I feel safe. That’s when I feel I’m in control.
I often end up in conflict with others. That’s because I hate injustice and refuse to look at while other people end up in trouble.
Interfering is something I specialize in. It’s not to be annoying, but I lack the fierce barrier that many people have. I have no consistent thoughts and
often put me in dangerous situations to save people I like or have compassion for.
Do you think I’m an expert in pampering me? It’s like I’m not looking loud, jumping in water puddles or laughing as embarrassing. I’m just doing what’s coming in. What I feel for there and then. I do not have time to think about what other people think about me.
Much of all
We who have ADHD / ADD are intensive. We feel more. We hate more. We provide more. But we also love more. Because when we love someone we do it not only with the heart but with the whole body.
If you know that when you do not manage to be understanding anymore then go away. Take a break. Get a break from us, because we can be tiresome. When we join, something always happens. We are in constant motion. But we are not only intensive and hyperactive. We are also intelligent and creative. We just think in another way, we’re missing the valve there. In order to survive, we have created our own way of being and reacting.
You must allow us to.
If you give us that opportunity, the opportunity to be who we are, then you will see how much we have to give you. Our handicap also has a lot of positive benefits. You will understand. Be proud to take part in our journey and discover the world as we see it.
My comment on this is:
Yes, I had it before Jesus broke into my life on a February day in 2014. Then the storm stopped forever. Before it was a test every day as it still dropped me for the living. I have three suicide attempts behind me. But Jesus said no! I survived everyone and gained such a gradual order of life in 2013. In 2014, it was time to get calm from the Master. A heat went through the whole body and I felt a cosmic calm and a love I could never have established myself.
After that I sought up churches and found out that I had to charismatic churches to find the same love of Jesus and God. The silence has meant that I have left the life with powerful concentration to read everything I come across.
It thunders in life with God. The roaring lion gives me a power I did not have before this occurred. My love is rewarded and is two-way. Many times I feel that I hover over the asphalt, in his grace.
So Jesus will find you safe if you ask for it and forsake your sins to Him. Then you’ll find the calm.